Regret
by The Second Coming
Summary: One-Shot: It was definitely turning out to be one of those days...


**A/N:** Completely pointless smut. 'Nuff said.

Originally written for Ebony Silks on LJ on 16 May 2008. 3,562 words.

--

It was definitely turning out to be one of those days. Things had just gone from bad to worse, she mused as she sat, covered in demon guts and staring up at the absolute _last_ person she wanted to see right now. Except perhaps Naraku. It really didn't help that said person was staring down at her with a gaze that usually spelled out certain death for anyone on the receiving end of it. Either that or he was just really bored. There seemed to be a very fine line between the two.

All she'd wanted was a little peace and quiet. Was that really too much to ask?

It had all started yesterday at WacDonalds, where she and her friends had gone for comfort food following a particularly brutal history test.

"What you need," Eri had said, accentuating her point with a particularly long french fry, "is a good study regime. Good study habits equal good marks."

Good study habits. Right. Like keeping a certain hanyou from tossing her books in a river, and trying to memorise formulae while slaying demons and traipsing all over half of Japan on foot? She munched on a fry bitterly. Life was feeling decidedly unfair at the moment.

"You need a good place where you can really focus when you study," Eri continued, using her finger to gesture emphatically this time, having eaten her previous pointer.

"It can't be easy for you, being sick all the time," Yuka added, the sympathetic look on her face made Kagome cringe.

"How do you usually study?" Ayumi asked.

The sudden image of her last attempt at a study session flashed through her mind. Between Inuyasha demanding more ramen and insisting that school was a waste of time (punctuating his point by stealing her textbook and declaring it 'useless junk' before tossing it haphazardly into the nearest mud puddle and walking off proudly, and worse, having the nerve to be surprised when she sat him for it), Kouga's unexpected arrival, which had resulted in the expert use of all her mediation techniques, and the trampling of her poor, abused, muddy textbook, the usual plethora of gropes from Miroku and swift retribution doled out by Sango and Shippo begging for candy, she'd found it a little hard to concentrate. She glowered in aggravation at the memory, wishing Inuyasha was around so that she could sit him into sometime next week. She was _so_ not getting her textbook deposit back this year.

"Over dinner," she finally said, when she realised that her friends were still waiting for an answer.

"Oh, Kagome," Yuka said, sounding as if she thought Kagome was completely hopeless.

"Never," said Eri.

"Ever," added Ayumi.

"— Study over dinner," Eri finished triumphantly.

"It's the _worst_ thing you can do," said Ayumi gravely.

"Oh," Kagome said flatly. Probably not the _worst_, she mused. She could think of far worse ways to study. Like on the back of a certain hanyou, for instance. Or in a cold, damp cave in the middle of a downpour. Or when being attacked by copious amounts of shard-craving demons.

"Don't worry Kagome," Yuka said kindly. "We'll make you a study schedule!"

"Oh," she said again, trying desperately to look politely grateful at the suggestion. "Um… that's not really necessary."

"Don't be ridiculous," snapped Eri. "Do you want to do well in school or not?"

Well, when she put it _that_ way. Besides, how bad could it be?

"Okay," she acquiesced.

"Right," Eri said, finishing the last of the french fries and pulling out a piece of paper and a pen.

In the end, the problem with the study schedule was not that it hadn't worked, but that it _had_. It sat there burning a guilty hole in the back of her mind. After all, they'd worked so hard to put it together for her. And they'd done it with her best interests at heart. They just thought she was sick, after all, and didn't realise that it wasn't terribly applicable as a solution to her particular situation. And it wasn't their fault that they didn't know, and it was hardly fair to criticise them for it, as she was the one lying to _them_. They weren't asking for much, really, just two hours of silent study a night. If she didn't do it they would be so disappointed. Plus, it was probably good for her.

On paper it looked so easy. But putting two hours of "silent study" into practice was near impossible.

"No distractions!" Eri had told her. "That's what's most important."

"You get nearly ten times as much done when it's quiet," Ayumi added, and Eri and Yuka nodded emphatically behind her.

"If you're up to it, you should try going to the library," Yuka said.

Library. _Right_. As she watched the water for Inuyasha's ramen boil over an open campfire in the middle of the Sengoku Jidai, the idea of going to the library seemed almost farcical. Still, it had to be possible somehow to get a little bit of studying done. This was her future at stake!

"Um," she began after she'd placated Inuyasha with food. "I have to study —"

Before she'd even finished her sentence Inuyasha was already talking. "Hell no. You just went back for one of those stupid test things. You can't have another one."

She bit back the 'sit' that was on the tip of her tongue and settled for glaring at him. It would probably be easier to get him to agree if she didn't make him eat too much dirt first.

She pulled out her maths textbook and opened it. "No, Inuyasha. But I did really badly on my last test because I didn't have enough time to study. I thought I'd start early this time," she said. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind being quiet while I study? It's a bit hard to focus when it's loud."

There. That sounded reasonable.

"Of course, Kagome-sama," Miroku said immediately.

"Gladly, Kagome-chan," Sango added.

"I'll keep the idiot quiet," Shippo said.

"Hey runt! Who're you callin' an idiot?"

"Be quiet, Kagome's studying, moron." Shippo launched himself at Inuyasha's head and began pulling at his ears.

"Get off me you little twerp."

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Kagooooooooome!" Shippo wailed as he ran away from the furious hanyou.

Kagome let her head fall onto her open textbook with an unsatisfying thud. "Sit," she muttered, and was rewarded with a far more satisfying thud as Inuyasha connected with the ground.

"Shippo," she said slowly. "Why don't you colour for a bit?" She pulled out a box of crayons and a colouring book. "Quietly," she added.

"Right," he said with a grin, dumping the crayons out onto the ground. "Thanks Kagome."

"Yeah," she muttered distractedly as she returned to her math textbook. She'd done one problem when she got the feeling that someone was watching her. She glanced up and nearly shrieked when she saw Inuyasha standing right in front of her staring down at her book.

"Do you _mind_?"

He looked up at her, confused. "What?"

"You're crowding me."

He stood and walked around her, peering now over her shoulder. She could feel his breath ghosting past her ear, and it sent a shiver down her spine.

"Umm, Inuyasha?" she said hesitantly. "You're still crowding me."

He stepped back half an inch.

"You're still doing it," she said crossly.

"I'm not even touching you!" he exclaimed.

She tossed the book down and turned around. "You're _hovering_. I can't focus with you standing over my shoulder like that!"

"Well that's just stupid," he said.

She ground her teeth in frustration. "Why are you so interested in my math homework anyway?"

He shrugged and looked away. "Keh," he said.

Insane, she thought. He's completely and utterly nuts.

Within a minute he was doing it again.

Clearly it was time for plan B, she thought as she tossed her math book back in her yellow backpack.

"I'm taking a bath," she muttered as she stalked passed Inuyasha. "If you even so much as _think_ about hovering around me…"

"What makes you think I'm _interested_?"

Her barely controlled temper snapped. "Sit." _Thud. _"Sit." _Thud. _"Sitsitsit." _Thudthudthud_. It was almost therapeutic.

Sango shot the prostrate hanyou an exasperated glance as she passed, and she followed Kagome off to the hotsprings.

The warm water and Sango's companionship began to relax her, and when Sango left she stayed behind to get some studying done in peace.

Which is where the demon guts came in.

The centipede demon lunged at her from the bushes unexpectedly, and she just barely managed to dodge out of the way. Leaving her school things behind, she grabbed her bow and she took off at a run, dashing madly and blindly into the forest.

"Inuyashaaaa!" she wailed as she ran, stumbling over tree roots and rocks, with the centipede growing ever closer behind her.

She tripped, and as she rolled over and sat up she saw the centipede rise up above her. Quickly she loaded her bow and shot a purifying arrow at the looming demon. It exploded, raining sizzling bits of youkai flesh down on her.

"Ugh," she said.

A sudden prickle of warning alerted her that she wasn't alone, and she turned and shot a second arrow blindly at the being behind her. Sesshoumaru effortlessly side-stepped the arrow, and watched blandly as it thudded into the tree.

_Oh crap_, she thought. _I'm so dead_.

He turned and looked down at her. It was about at that point that she decided that it was definitely one of _those_ days. And it was definitely all her friends' fault. And if she survived, than she would certainly never, ever heed their advice again.

"Miko," he said flatly.

Kagome squeaked in terror.

A single eyebrow raised almost imperceptibly on his face. He continued to gaze stonily down at her.

"Um… Sesshoumaru-sama?" she managed in a voice several octaves higher than usual.

He nodded slightly, and then narrowed his eyes. "Why are you alone?"

She blinked. Since when did he care? "Err… I was taking a bath. The centipede came up on me out of nowhere."

"Hn," he said enigmatically. "And where is my worthless half-brother?"

"He's…" she paused as she realised she didn't have the foggiest clue where Inuyasha was. "He's back at camp. Why does it matter? I can take care of myself you know."

This time the eyebrow was raised more dramatically, in a clear show of snooty scepticism.

"Hey!" she said, rather unwisely on the whole. "I can so take care of myself. I killed the stupid centipede, didn't I?" Long past having any awareness of who exactly it was she was dealing with, she continued, "It's not like I need Inuyasha to coddle me all the time. He's such an insufferable git, mostly anyway, so it's hardly worth it in the end. It's all ramen this, and jewel shards that. It's like he forgets that I'm even _around_ half the time."

In a sudden moment of terrible clarity she realised exactly who she was ranting to.

"Ehehe," she laughed nervously. Horrible visions of her impending doom flashed through her mind. In a sudden moment of adrenaline-fed clarity she realised that if she died now her last words would be 'ehehe'. It wasn't a particularly glamourous end, she mused giddily. If she was going to say something, she really ought to say it now before he killed her…

"I regret nothing."

It had seemed like such a good idea at the time.

The adrenaline-fed giddiness instantly evaporated in favour of mortification and a burning desire to smash her head against the nearest tree repeatedly.

Sesshoumaru frowned. He stepped forwards. She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable. She wished that she'd said good-bye to her mother properly before she left, and that the last thing she'd said to Inuyasha hadn't been 'sit'.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt his fingers grasp her jaw and tilt it upwards.

"Miko," he said again, this time quietly.

She opened her eyes. He was standing _way_ too close for comfort. Actually, with Sesshoumaru, standing within visible distance was considered 'standing too close for comfort', but this was reaching a whole new level of seriously uncomfortable closeness. She felt her face growing warm as he scrutinised her, examining her as if for the first time.

"You have no regrets?" he asked softly.

_Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod_, her mind supplied helpfully.

"Curious," he murmured, running one clawed finger across her jawbone. She shivered despite the fact that his presence had made her uncomfortably warm.

"You have absolved yourself of your past regrets?" he continued in that soft, velvety tone that was beginning to make her legs shake.

"To think," he said, running his claws down her neck. She was shaking in terror now, well aware that one quick flick of those claws could easily separate her head from her body rather permanently. "That you, a mere human, could do what this Sesshoumaru can not."

His hand made its way down to her arm and grabbed on in a painful grip. She whimpered as his claws began to dig into her skin. _Ohgodohgodohgod_, her mind continued.

He bent his head down slowly and licked the skin at her neck.

She was dying. She _had_ to be. It was completely impossible to be this warm without spontaneously combusting. She licked her suddenly dry lips, and tried desperately to keep her legs from crumpling underneath her. "What are you doing?" she asked hoarsely.

"Creating regrets," he murmured against the skin of her neck, causing gooseflesh to erupt all over her skin.

"Why?" she asked.

He nipped her neck, and she gasped, automatically grasping the front of his haori for support. The hand on her arm loosened, and her fingers immediately began to sting as the blood returned to them.

Slowly he began to move downwards. His fingers found the waistline of her shirt and began to tug upwards. Her body moved without her control and raised her arms complaisantly allowing him to tug the shirt over her head. He paused for a moment then, and through the haze that she found herself in she looked up at him.

He seemed to be examining her bra with interest. She reached backwards to unclasp it for him. She wasn't sure why, but it seemed like a good thing to do. He, however, seemed to disagree. He grabbed her hands with his own, and used them to spin her around.

She felt his claws ghost up her spine, and she trembled. With agonising slowness they made their way up her back, skirting around the bra and coming up to rest on her shoulder. Then, equally slowly he pulled one of the straps off her shoulder.

She squeaked in alarm as he pulled her back against him. He nipped her neck again, slowly working his way down her shoulder while his fingers fumbled with the clasp of her bra. She almost giggled when she realised he was having trouble with it, and was about to reach up and help him when he sliced through the material with his claws.

"Hey!" she said indignantly. "I like that bra."

He whirled her around again and tugged the second strap off her other shoulder allowing the bra to fall to the ground.

"This Sesshoumaru prefers you without it," he said lazily.

She blinked. And then he lowered his mouth to her nipple, and she nearly fell over. It felt _impossibly_ good. He was so warm, and everything he did sent shock waves of that warmth through her own body.

Something warm and fuzzy touched her back, and she shrieked. He looked up at her in amusement as his mokomoko-sama curled around her waist and lifted her up. His mouth found its way back to her breast, and his arm circled her bare waist, pulling her towards him as he manoeuvred them both towards the nearest tree.

He pinned her there, and something about the rough bark against her back drew her back into reality. She looked down at him, his silver hair in slight disarray, and his golden eyes unnaturally bright and she trembled. Even now he was impossibly powerful — but that contained power that had so frightened her before was gone in favour of something undeniably wrong.

This was not at all what she wanted. She'd wanted Inuyasha. She'd daydreamed about it for ages, even gone so far as to imagine having children with him. Inuyasha was her _destiny_.

But Inuyasha had never made her _feel_ so…

She was overcome by a sudden need to touch him, to assure herself that he was real. Slightly hesitantly she ran her fingers down his neck and slipped them under the neckline of his haori. He was so _warm_. His skin felt like satin, under her fingers, and she ran them frantically over every inch she could find, seeking… something. But it wasn't enough. She slipped her hands out of his haori and began to fumble with his breastplate, tugging at the straps, wanting to see _him_, to _feel_ him.

His own hand covered hers, and pushed it aside, undoing the clasps to his armour with one well-practised movement. The breastplate slipped to the ground. His obi and swords followed shortly after. With slightly trembling hands she reached forward and pulled at the ties to his haori and opened it. He gazed down at her with an intensity that both scared and aroused her.

Hesitantly she reached out and lay her hand flat against his chest, relishing in the way her skin seemed to tingle where it came into contact with his. His eyes slipped closed, and she allowed her fingers to drift across his skin.

He was built. She felt muscle beneath his smooth skin, and marvelled in the raw strength that was contained in him.

Her finger dipped into his navel, and she heard his breath catch.

The fact that _she_ had affected _him_ gave her a strange sense of pride and drove her onward. Her hand drifted lower and lower, reaching his waist. Suddenly he reached out and grasped her wrist, her eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected contact.

Suddenly he propped her higher against the tree and pulled her skirt above her waist and sliced through her panties in one fluid movement. She was slightly surprised at herself for the lack of embarrassment she felt as he did that, and even more surprised that she couldn't care less that he'd just ruined her favourite pair of underwear.

She registered his pants dropping to the ground before he had pressed himself flush against her and positioned himself at her opening in one smooth movement. She squirmed in his hold, wanting, needing… something. Him. And he responded with a low growl.

And then he entered her.

She'd expected pain. Or, rather, the remaining part of her brain still capable of rational thought had, and she wasn't disappointed. It stung, and she grasped his shoulders tightly, her nails digging into his skin as she tried not to let the tears that had gathered in her eyes at the pain overflow.

He showed remarkable restraint and consideration by staying put.

Then, slowly, the pain began to fade and instead she found the odd feeling of fullness. In a strange way, she'd almost expected something… more. After all, her friends had described their sexual encounters in (occasionally far too much) detail. They'd made it sound like some kind of earth-shattering experience.

It wasn't bad, really. It wasn't earth-shattering either, though.

And then he started to move. And _oh god_ had they been right. He moved again, and she moaned, beginning to move in synch with him. This was… _so good. _

Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck, and their rhythm increased, moving together in uncoordinated unison.

She was lost.

And suddenly she saw him, framed by the moonlight, his hair askew and his eyes closed, and for a moment she loved him. Sex really did make people do silly things. Their rhythm increased again, and she wanted to crawl off him and pull him closer at the same time. She was writhing, lost, simply wanting... wanting more.

And then, the world exploded.

She sank down, leaning her face on his shoulder. For a moment neither of them moved, revelling in the unnatural stillness of the night. Then he slipped out of her, and she shivered at the loss of contact.

He turned, and gathered his things, leaving in a flash before she could even think of what might be appropriate to say.

As she tossed her shredded undergarments in the bushes, and put her shirt back on she felt dirty.

_Regret_.

What the hell had just _happened_?

It seemed completely impossible that she had just had sex with Sesshoumaru in the middle of a clearing at night. Yet, the sticky mess on the inside of her legs clearly said otherwise.

Why had he done it? Why had _she _done it?

What the hell was she going to do now?

Have a bath.

She stood and walked back the way she'd come, not fully aware of what was going on, and returned to the hotsprings. Mechanically she washed herself, and dressed, then sat on the bank staring blankly at the still water.

_What am I going to do now?_


End file.
